Roller Derby!

“Lots and lots of fishnets,” is how Red Leather Heather summed up last night’s activity.  We’ve been meaning to go to a roller derby for a while now. Luckily, Tracy (she of the Pin-Up-Girl Halloween costume) is a go-go boot wearin’ member of the cheerleading team for the Rocky Mountain Rollergirls.

With someone we actually knew involved, we found ourselves in Littleton last night, being warmed up by Wolfie the mascot before the Red Ridin’ Hoods and the Sugar Kill Gang came on deck for their expo derby.

Wolfie poses for the camera.

$14.32 buys you a ticket online. Pom pons are a buck apiece, and a cup of Pabst Blue Ribbon is $2. Altogether, a cheap evening out. The rules are simple. Whistle #1 starts the pack. Waiting for Whistle #2 are the two jammers, one for each team. Their job is to make their way through the pack to the front, where they become lead jammer and start to score points for each skater passed.

Below, Whippety Pow magics her way through the pack. She’s wearing pink shorts.

Shes wearing skates here. Not a big gal.

Whippety Pow is wearing skates, I'm not. Not a big gal.

Whippety Pow was my favorite player on the Sugar Kill Gang. She Who Cannot Be Named was my favorite Red Ridin’ Hood. (I had my pic taken with She Who, as well, but the camera turned out to be set on video.) They’re both strategic skaters, reading the pack and calculating upcoming openings. Whippety Pow kept low and hard to spot. A very fast skater, she shoots through openings like a damn rabbit. She Who Cannot Be Named is no slouch on speed, but takes up more space on the rink. She’s a head taller, for one thing, and also has more arm motion. She was a great one for the element of surprise, making blockers think she was headed one way, then shooting around the outside when they weren’t looking, only to reappear in front of them. Both great skaters, plenty aggressive, but also fairly cerebral. For sheer aggro, you couldn’t beat Annia LateHer. She punched through the pack like a bull, clearly uncaring of personal injury.

I’ve heard the fans are sometimes as much fun to watch as the skaters. The star of last night’s audience was Jennifer, a first-timer just like us.

Cutest gal in the crowd.

If I’m not mistaken, Jennifer’s canines were filed to points. On her, this was adorable. She also had some great pirate shoes.

Close-up of Jennifer shoes.

Two other stand-outs in the crowd were familial supports of the Red Ridin’ Hoods’ Boudica.

Proud supporters.

Proud supporters.

Please note that Boudica‘s jersey number actually is 60 AD. Love it!

text here

Post-derby, Boudica was no slouch in the pirate-shoe department, either.

Argh! These beauties dont have wheels!

Argh! These beauties don't have wheels!

What else can I tell you? The refs had nicknames. Shake and Derby Harry were two that I saw.  The only derby moniker I could come up with was Block and Claw, but that’s so-so. I have to say that the best name of the night was probably Vixen T’Killya, of the Sugar Kill Gang.

Oh, I almost forgot! During half-time, the cheerleaders asked for five audience volunteers and got all little boys, since no one was sure exactly what was going to happen. They played a game where five cheerleaders each held a balloon to their chest while the contestant hugged one after another so as to pop the balloons. Quickest balloon popper won a prize. Since the boys were short, the cheerleaders had to kneel. I was so riveted by the sight, I forgot to take video. As Angel Joe watched the first kid wrap his arms around a kneeling cheerleader and give her a good hump to break the balloon, he moaned, “If only I had known…” Next time, honey.

If you have roller derby near you, go. It’s a blast.

(more video probably still to come)

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