Cupcakes and CAT Scans

So, almost the only food in the house right now is the batch of gluten-free cupcakes I made last night. They are pure evil, which is to say they are both wheat- and dairy-free, which means I can eat a ton of them, which is why I’m typing this from the treadmill. They don’t even have trans fats. I made the frosting (which calls for cream cheese) with that Spectrum vegetable shortening made with organic palm oil. Organic! I ask you, what’s to keep me from getting as big as a house? Anyway, I was strong and had goat yoghurt for breakfast, but it’s cupcakes for lunch, I fear.

Yesterday, I had my six-month check up with my allergist. He’s this short Jewish guy with an orchid collection and a solid marriage, somewhere in his 60s, and he’s totally hot, he’s so smart and funny. I’m telling you, Angel Joe is something special to have attracted my attention when he’s not even Jewish. Of course, I’m not Jewish either, but I wish I was. I blame my parents. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah — CAT scans. So Dr. Jewish Smart-Funny and I have the following conversation.

Him: I think last time we went in the bathroom and turned off the lights so I could shine a light through your sinuses.

Me: We do that every time. (following him down the hallway and into the john) To the bat cave, Robin!  Although I suppose I’m Robin. Well, you can say it next time.

Him (switching off the light): Let’s see if we can find any guano.

Anyway, my sinuses do not shine, nor have they for quite some time, and my sense of smell isn’t what it used to be — which suggests benign polyps. So he suggested a CAT scan, to see what’s up there.

Me: I’m always up for a new medical procedure!

Him: (gives me a look)

Me: Well, you know. Within reason. But I have excellent insurance.

Him: Unfortunately, I can’t just send you in. We have to call and get them to agree to do it. (He leaves)

(sound of phone conversation, paper rustling)

Him (returning with raised eyebrows and a signed order form): You do have good insurance.

Thank you, Angel Joe! So I’m looking forward to a new experience, although I hear MRIs are much more exciting.

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4 Responses to “Cupcakes and CAT Scans”

  1. elyakatz Says:

    Wonderful writing style…very engaging and funny!!

    Thanks for the book recommendation (your cupcake recipe). I’m new to GF and was lamenting that I couldn’t find a use for those cool Lodge muffin pans I’ve been eyeballing. I would happily own every single cast-iron baking utensil man has conjured up from the foundry, but I have to know I can use it too, or it’s no fun for me.

    Ellie Katz

    P.S. Jewish guys are hot, aren’t they?

  2. Esri Rose Says:

    That baking book is so good, it’s easy to suddenly put on five pounds. The scones are outstanding. More of a learning curve than the cupcakes, which take about 7 minutes to put together, plus baking time. I’m going to try subbing veg. shortening for butter in the scones next.

    Thanks for the compliment!

  3. LiJuun Says:

    He IS pretty funny! 🙂

    I, too, have a crush on a specific racial type. Only mine’s for Japanese guys with Scottish accents. Not that I’ve met any of those, but if I ever do, I’ll be lost.

  4. Esri Rose Says:

    Japanese guys with Scottish accents..? Good luck with that. 😉

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