A Story, illustrated with eBay merchandise.

(All of the following merchandise is from one eBay seller. Click on any picture to be taken to the item’s listing.)

Once there were these monkeys. Barrels of ’em.

They sat around all day, eating bananas and combing their hair.

One day, Batman dropped by.

“Hey, hairy dudes,” Batman said. “There’s going to be a party at my pad tonight. Roulette, poker…you name it.”

The monkeys rolled their eyes and shrieked, “We don’t care anything about CARDS!”

“Whatever,” Batman said. “There’s also going to be ice cream and beers.”

One of the monkeys looked up from picking a flea out of his comb. “Waffle cones or cake?”

“Waffle,” Batman said.

“We’ll BE there!” they screamed.

That evening, the monkeys put on shorts, because it was a dress-up occasion.

When they got to the Batcave, the first person they saw was Curious George…

…playing the slots.

The monkeys shrieked with rage. “Thinks he’s so great because his agent lucked into a book deal! A man in a HAT…WE could have thought of that!” And they all pulled out six-shooters.

Curious George and his posse pulled out their own, superior weaponry…

…and blasted the monkeys into assorted body parts.

“But you didn’t think of it,” Curious George said, tossing his Uzi aside. He decided to go to Batman’s private screening room. They’d be showing some gothic piece of crap, but he’d heard the Simpsons were there. If he sat behind Marge, he could pick through her hair without Homer catching on. They’d done it before.

The End


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7 Responses to “A Story, illustrated with eBay merchandise.”

  1. Trish Milburn Says:

    LOL!!! Great story, Esri.

  2. Diane Gaston Says:

    Esri, you are demented and I mean that in the very nicest way!!


  3. Norah Wilson Says:

    ROFL, Esri! And way to end it! What a mental picture to leave us with.

  4. Mom Says:

    That’s a really good story, Kid.


  5. Jane George Says:

    Pffft! I’m so happy I wasn’t drinking anything just now.

    This story now begs the question: What were you originally searching for on Ebay? Hmmm?

  6. LiJuun Says:

    That’s hilarious!

    Oh, eBay. How I miss thee.

    (I’m terribly perturbed with their behavior since acquiring PayPal).

    But monkeys! With little shorts and six-shooters! Marge and Curious George having an affair! That’s a pile of fabulous with a side of awesome sauce right there.

  7. Esri Rose Says:

    Jane, I was searching on “teeth.”

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