Neon Moo Cow and Norman Gnome

EaseBrisbane appears to be the Aussie version of Spencer Gifts. In addition to this neon cow sign, he offers stainless-steel rings that allow you to open beer bottles one-handed, molds for making ice drinking glasses, and talking garden gnomes that say cheeky things and occasionally fart. The best part is the sincere, well-written commentary.

You see, Norman speaks whenever he senses anyone approaching your hallowed door. Unfortunately, Norman has a propensity to be a little cheeky. He says what he thinks, loud and clear. Comments include gems such as:

  • Oooooh – you’ve put on weight since your last visit huh?
  • Before you knock, you’d better not be selling politics, charity or religion – oh, and by the way, we’re very happy with our phone company thank you.
  • (Loud Fart) Oh man – I held that one in for three hours waiting for someone to show up.
  • Hey, I’m just a cute little stone statue – I’m not talking to you – it’s aaallll in your head.
  • YOU again! You’d better do the dishes this time, we’re still cleaning up after your last visit.
  • Heeyyyy – your friends are here – they promise they won’t stay too long like last time.
  • Please – steal me away, I wanna travel the world. I wanna see London, Cairo, sweet Paree.
  • Ahhh… they told me to tell you there’s no beer in the fridge. But I just CANT lie. Go right in and treat yourself. The keys are under the doormat.
  • You can’t borrow the lawnmower, and we don’t have any sugar, milk or eggs.
  • I wouldn’t go in there if I were you… the last people never came out.
  • You SURE you wanna go in there? THESE weirdos collect garden gnomes for cryin out loud.

Now obviously Norman does not use magic to wave his arm and speak, he uses electronics, so please do keep him sheltered from the elements.

HallowedPropensity… Clearly they have a better class of eBay sellers in Australia.

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