Smart Bitches Par-tayyyy…

As Candy herself said, it was “fucking awesome.”

The Smart Bitches must truly appreciate their fans. Why else would they throw a lovely party at a cool bar, with upscale appetizers and paid-for drinks? They’re not just Smart, they’re Classy.

Sarah confessed the magic number of people that is too many for her to deal with. I’m not going to divulge it, because I don’t want people forming a ring around her so she can’t escape. She looks sweet as pie, but that’s always the type who froths at the mouth and bites you on the leg when they’re cornered. At one point in our conversation, I looked down and said, “Is that I’m Not Really a Waitress nail polish you’re wearing?” Whereupon she bit me on the leg. Not really. She looked at me like I’d predicted the outcome of the next presidential election and told me I was correct.

This is a not-very-good picture of Sarah, Melissa Marr (author of Wicked Lovely,) and her editor, Anne the Angel of Awesome. I have to tell you, Anne is smokin’ hot. She has an androgynous smolder you could light clove cigarettes on, is very funny and, as far as I could tell on such short acquaintance, is spookily smart. I paid her the highest compliment I know, which is to say she could be Steve Buscemi’s beautiful sister. I don’t think this properly conveyed my admiration, but she recovered beautifully.

One cute pair of shoes caught my eye at the party.

These belong to Victoria Janssen, who writes hot historicals. When I asked for her latest book’s title, she handed me a card. I thought, “Oh, just tell me,” and then saw why she needs a visual aid. It’s The Duchess, Her Maid, The Groom and Their Lover.

When asked what wearing these red patent-leather Danskos would say about her heroine, Victoria said, “She has arch problems.”

The other great pair of shoes at the party were the shoes I came in with. No, not on my feet, but on the feet of my new buddy Jane George. Say her name out loud, wouldya? It’s really satisfying. Anyway, Jane is the author of the as-yet-unpublished Circus Fantastique series, a YA with a concept so good, I can’t tell you what it is. I did chivvy Jane into telling Monique Patterson of St. Martin’s about it, and Monique requested a partial on the spot. Jane says that if her heroine wore these boots, it would mean, “She secretly idolizes Nancy Sinatra.”

Monique Patterson was wearing some la-di-da shoes herself.

Strips of black patent-leather on a net base, and a very architectural heel. She says these shoes reflect her love of clothes that are “comfortable but stylish.” She also wore a black A-line skirt and a black-and-hot-pink TKDK T-shirt, so I believe her.

On the way back to the hotel, Jane George showed me the wonderful Martin Luther King, Jr. memorial in Yerba Buena Gardens. I saw this empty statue niche and asked Jane to take my picture in it. She kept trying to angle the camera to get one of the the inscribed quotes in the picture, and finally I had to say, “Jane, this is not about Mr. King, Jr. I just want to look like a statue.”

Oh, and Kensington muckety-muck Kate Duffy does not have any pets. I could tell you more, but then she’d have to shoot me.

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