“Incubus Possessed Ring” on eBay!

Remember to have safe supernatural sex!

(NEWS FLASH: Enter my contest to win a ring like this one, only better.)

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According to Sherry of Sherry’s Enchantments, the sterling-silver, “genuine ruby red gemstone ring” pictured above has “accepted the spirit of ‘Ricardo’ into its gorgeous facets.” You’ll get instructions for activating “Ricardo,” an “EXTREMELY POWERFUL INCUBUS NYMPH SPIRIT” when you pay the $74.99 and get the ring. Essentially, Sherry is saying that she’s put a hot demon lover in this ring, and he’ll have sex with you while you sleep. I’m sure your mind is fizzing with questions. Here are Sherry’s answers to a few.

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Is “Ricardo” my type?

“Ricardo” is tall, dark, and handsome as he is Latin, so one could assume his Love Making skills are Very Powerful, being a Latin Lover! “Ricardo” is eager to please whomever his new owner is, whether they are male or female!

What if I have the ring resized? Is that going to put a hitch in “Ricardo’s” getalong?

Resizing by any reputable jeweler will not affect “Ricardo’s” Sexual Nocturnal Powers at all!

I have to get up early in the morning. Is that going to be a problem?

Nocturnal Orgasms may even awaken you, so please be aware of this!

Should I shop around?

“Ricardo’s” Invocation took about 8 hours to Complete Correctly! This will make the ring and its inhabitant “Ricardo” so much more Powerful than other Incubus Nymph Inhabited Items out there!

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I can’t do full justice to Sherry’s page, which features a slide show of “Ricardo.” Don’t miss the full-on presentation.

One thing Sherry doesn’t address is what incubi are noted for — impregnating their female lovers. Just in case, you might want to get a Birth Control Case with built-in Alarm Clock, also available on eBay.

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UPDATE: The lovely and very funny writer Janet Mullany got me mentioned on Smart Bitches because of this item. Thanks, Janet, Sarah and Candy!

MAJOR BULLETIN: I have emailed this item’s seller, Sherry, to ask if she will imbue a ring with an extremely powerful incubus nymph spirit named “Colin.” I think you know to whom I’m referring. Of course, he’s not dead, but the man has to sleep sometime. If all goes well, I will give that ring away in some kind of contest/drawing/whatchamacallit on this very blog.

And it’s happening! Here are the drawing details.

(Next time, on Things I Didn’t Buy On eBay
It’s a carrot. It’s a magic talisman. It’s Produce with Powers.
)

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11 Responses to ““Incubus Possessed Ring” on eBay!”

  1. Laura Says:

    People worry me.

  2. Yeah, right! Says:

    Just a point of accuracy here…

    You need to look up a few words for your “nymph-incubus’.

    A nymph is a minor goddess.
    An incubus is a sex demon.
    Therefore, a nymph and an icubus are opposites.

    Sad you didn’t know that.
    Research, people.

  3. Sandy Blair Says:

    Worry me, too, Laura.

  4. Janet Mullany Says:

    Apparently one of the side effects of incubus sex is you can’t differentiate between its and it’s, a sorry state of affairs. And did you notice he took off his wings to shower and boink?

    I also can’t help but wonder exactly what is in his special recharging pouch.

    What where the search terms you used for this on ebay?

  5. Esri Rose Says:

    Janet: Let’s see…What was the search trail? I know I went through “purple” and “weasel” that day. Somehow I wound up on “haunted.”

  6. Laura Says:

    Haunted purple weasels? I’d like to see how THOSE would be marketed on Ebay.

  7. Suzan Says:

    Too expensive.

  8. Amy The Soap Crone Says:

    You got mentioned on Smart Bitches?????

    *runs off to look*

    Dammit! Their server is down. *pouts*

  9. SCSPaine Says:

    I love her disclaimer:

    “This is not a miracle… It is a spell or blessing. Finally, avoid negativity of any kind as it can also block spells & blessings.”

    And showering Ricardo is the best. Yum!

  10. Sherry Says:

    I am Sherry of Sherry’s Enchantments, every Haunted Jewelry seller on eBay is required to have a disclaimer. If they don’t than, they have not done their homework on ebay.

    My disclaimer actually states the following :

    The law requires me to state that all spells, readings and paranormal objects should be purchased for entertainment purposes only, and you must be at least 18 years old to make this purchase.Seller is not responsible for any activities which may or may not occur as a result of the purchase of this item. Products and/or services are not intended to be used as substitutes for legal, medical, financial, psychiatric or professional advice or care. This is not a miracle…
    It is a spell or blessing. Finally, avoid negativity of any kind as it can also block spells & blessings.

    Another great reason for this disclaimer is so that people realize, these items are not substitues for legal, medical, psychiatric or professional advice and care.

    However : if you click on my store or go on eBay and pull up my user id which is abercrombies_corner and review my feedback at 100 percent Positive and read how many people immediately feel energy, relief from pain, bipolar, etc, and how effective my spell cast and enchanted items work for them, you will see that, I am well versed in spell casting and invocations.

    I was very happy to assist Esri in her request and am pleased the invocation took so well.

    I am sure whomever wins this item will be thrilled.

    And so you know this is not a Demon, it is an incubus but not a Demon, he will not harm you, and he is a nymph in the real life term, as he loves to sexually satisfy you as you sleep.

    Plus I have sold several of these, and on the record, no one has ever been impregnated to my knowledge.

    Blessed Be ~ Sherry of Sherry’s Enchantments

  11. Becki Says:

    I think you need to re-name it just as a nymph and not use Incubus as they are demons. You should be careful what you are invoking as Incubus are bad – perhaps just keep him as a sex angel and make sure he is good!
    I have undergone Incubus attacks and I assure you they pose as good to start but they are BAD!
    Blessed Be
    Becki

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